Dear We Are Teachers,
A teacher friend of mine at another school in our district got in trouble for posting her Amazon wish list for school on Facebook. Her principal said that any crowdfunding needs to be processed by the district as fundraising, but the red tape to do that is so time-intensive and tedious. I was definitely banking on being able to make an Amazon wish list this year for friends and family, but I don’t want to get in trouble. Is there some kind of loophole?
—Nothing Without You
Dear N.W.Y.,
Why? Why in 2024 are we still demanding that teachers use their own money on school supplies? And when they find an option to get help acquiring these supplies, we attach MORE work and time onto it? I cannot.
My “professional” advice: Acquire the supplies by other means, but with spite in your heart.
My less professional advice: Keep those Amazon wish lists, baby. Use initials or a fake name. Share it with friends and family via your personal email. Submit them to celebrities asking for Amazon wish lists to fulfill. If you get “caught,” say it’s your cousin’s. No one will investigate you. And if they do, send them to me and I will ask why on earth they have this kind of time on their hands as an administrator.
Honestly. 🙄
Dear We Are Teachers,
I found out I will have a new 7th grade student transferred to my math class next week. This child is in general ed classes, but his IEP specifies a disturbing habit: masturbating in class. According to his IEP, when this happens, I’m supposed to remind him “[Name], hands on desk.” Then, if it continues, I’m supposed to ignore it (!) and speak to him about it after class.
I’m completely uncomfortable with this and am shocked that the teacher “intervention” was approved for an IEP. I’m not certified SpEd. What can I do?
—Outside My Pay Grade
Dear O.M.P.G.,
First, I am a huge supporter of inclusive education (it benefits everyone!). But this behavior is outside of distracting mannerisms that gen-ed students can learn to accept. This behavior asks that students (minors!) and teachers be exposed to—and tolerate—a sexual act in front of them. That’s a violation of their rights and yours.
(I’m also concerned about this student’s rights. If he lacks the self-awareness or self-control to curb these behaviors, is exposure to MORE students really best?)
First, visit your union rep. Then, visit your Title IX coordinator and say explicitly that you feel this expectation is sexual harassment. If none of this works for some reason, wait for a student to complain to their parent that their classmate is masturbating in class. As I’ve said here a hundred times before, parents can get the ball rolling way faster than teachers can.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I love my co-teacher this year. But last week I noticed something that I wasn’t sure whether to bring up. I was in a meeting for most of class, and when I came back in, my co-teacher was braiding a student’s hair. I didn’t say anything about it, but the next day, the student was braiding her hair. Part of me feels uncomfortable with this (mostly because we teach elementary and there’s always lice!), but I also don’t know if saying something would be considered policing a cultural norm for them. What do you think?
—Am I the Hair Narc?
Dear A.I.T.H.N.,
This one is tricky. I’m confident that 99.9% of teachers who do students’ hair are doing so completely innocently as a way to bond. Unfortunately, because of the other 0.1%, physical boundaries between teachers and students are really, really important.
I would say this: “Hey! I wanted to chat with you about something. I trust you and know you have no ill intentions in doing our students’ hair or in having them do your hair. But I would hate for a visitor or parent to pop in and complain, or make it into something it’s not. I just feel really protective of you.”
Hopefully your co-teacher will appreciate you looking out for her and respond to your perspective. But if she pushes back, encourage her to check with an administrator. And who knows? Maybe administrators are fine with it—but that way you’ll know.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I finished my 12th year of teaching in June and don’t think I can do another school year. Even at the beginning of the summer I felt dread about going back, but now that has turned into full-on terror. However, I’ve already signed my contract and I know this decision would mean my principal would have to scramble to fill my highly specialized position (I teach AP French 3 and 4 and all levels of Dance). I’m worried quitting would jeopardize the reference I would get from her AND would ruin the plans of students who expected to take these classes in the fall if my school can’t find a replacement in time. What would you recommend?
—Just (Can’t) Do It
