The public has been horrified anew by the grooming gangs scandal. And so, in response, the Government has leapt into action.
Not by investigating the scandal itself. But by investigating the man who’s drawn everyone’s attention to it.
According to the Mirror, the Government’s counter-extremism unit has launched a “probe” into Elon Musk’s tweets “to see if they create a risk to Britain”. Apparently there are “fears” that his “rants” will “trigger violence”. A claim which suggests that any such violence will be the fault of Mr Musk. Rather than of, say, the grooming gangs themselves, or the politicians who are refusing to hold an inquiry into them.
Still, it’s not just our Government that’s panicking. It seems the entire Western Left wants to shut him down.
Humza Yousaf, the former First Minister of Scotland, says Mr Musk “needs to be stopped”, because he’s “one of the most dangerous men on the planet”. A senior figure from Hope Not Hate, the Left-wing activist group, calls Mr Musk “an international extremist”. Meanwhile, according to Politico, “up to 150 European Commission officials” watched Mr Musk’s livestreamed interview with the leader of the AfD party on Thursday night, in order to check that it didn’t “break EU law” and “boost the German far Right”.
You may ask why so many on the Left sound more outraged by Mr Musk than by the horrors he’s tweeting about. Personally, though, I think they have good reason to be scared.
Not because Mr Musk is a threat to public order, as they claim. It’s because he’s a threat to the Left itself. He’s doing a far better job of exposing its cowardice and hypocrisy than any opposition party.
So they aren’t frightened for us. They’re frightened for their jobs.
Modern comedy is no laughing matter
In 1949, the BBC drew up a strict set of rules for producers of its comedy programmes. “Humour must be clean and untainted directly or by association with vulgarity and suggestiveness,” it sternly decreed. “There is an absolute ban upon the following. Jokes about lavatories, effeminacy in men, immorality of any kind, suggestive references to honeymoon couples…”
Today such strictures may seem amusingly quaint. Frankly, though, we’re in no position to mock them. Because the comedy gatekeepers of the 2020s are even more humourless.
For proof, book a ticket to the Glasgow International Comedy Festival. Its organisers have drawn up a “Code of Conduct”, which is to be assiduously followed by everyone involved – including the actual comedians.
To help make the festival a “safe, positive and inclusive space”, they must “think about what influences your words, opinions and feelings and who they might exclude or harm”. They must make no “derogatory remarks about an individual’s body, manner or sexual activities”. And, while the organisers “believe artists must be free to express themselves, it is unacceptable to exacerbate or reinforce discriminatory or harmful behaviours or views”. All “content and work shared in our spaces” must be performed “with care and without malicious intent”.
You may be wondering whether the comedians are actually permitted to tell jokes, and if so, what about. But it gets worse. Because, according to the “Code of Conduct”, everyone involved must “acknowledge that bigotry is pervasive and entrenched in our industry and wider society”.
All I can say is, I pity the poor comedians. Because God only knows how they’re going to squeeze this requirement into their act.
Perhaps: “Why did the chicken cross the road? To join a mass protest against the apartheid state of Israel’s genocide of the people of occupied Gaza.”
Or: “An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. Quite rightly, the Irishman and the Scotsman hold the Englishman to account for his country’s shameful legacy of colonialism, slavery and oppression. The Englishman promises to educate himself and do better.”
Little devil
Congratulations to the Northern Echo. We aren’t even midway through January, yet already it’s published what will surely be the greatest local news story of the year.
It’s about a young couple in Redcar who have named their baby son Lucifer – and simply can’t understand why so many people disapprove.
“It has mostly been people from the older generation who have told us: ‘You can’t call him that, what will it be like when he’s at school?’” says Jess Bell, the boy’s 25-year-old mother. “But we are just normal, loving parents and certainly have no interest in associating our son with the devil, that’s not what this is about. The name is lovely, and it actually means ‘light-bringer’ – which is exactly what he has done for our lives.”
Little Lucifer’s father – Stefan Wake, 27 – is equally bemused by the fuss. He does note, however, that the baby was born in delivery room six, and then taken with his mother to bed six in room six. “The 666 was a fairly strange coincidence,” he says.
At any rate, I for one am willing to believe that the couple’s intentions were perfectly innocent. All the same, I will be monitoring the Telegraph’s births column for any further arrivals.
“To Stefan and Jess, a beautiful son, Beelzebub. A brother for Lucifer, Mephistopheles, Old Nick and Prince of Darkness.”
Way of the World is a twice-weekly satirical look at the headlines aiming to mock the absurdities of the modern world. It is published at 7am every Tuesday and Saturday
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