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We sit down with medical student Ashley McCray to explore the powerful lessons learned from failure and the resilience it builds. Ashley shares her personal story of perseverance after failing her licensing exam, the stigma surrounding failure in medicine, and the importance of grace and vulnerability in shaping stronger physicians.
Ashley McCray is a medical student.
She discusses the KevinMD article, “Failure is not the end: Creating space for grace in the medical field.”
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Transcript
Kevin Pho: Hi, and welcome to the show. Subscribe at KevinMD.com/podcast. Today we welcome Ashley McCray. She’s a medical student. Today’s KevinMD article is “Failure Is Not the End: Creating Space for Grace in the Medical Field.” Ashley, welcome to the show.
Ashley McCray: Hi, I’m happy to be here.
Kevin Pho: Tell us about yourself.
Ashley McCray: I am a rising fourth-year medical student. I started medical school several years ago, and by faith, I have made it this far. I’m Christian, and I know that God is the reason that I’ve gotten here. My story started with a car accident four weeks into medical school caused by a hit-and-run driver, and I miraculously survived that accident.
Being in a car accident is why I had such a hard time during my first year of medical school. I’ve had numerous people support me on my journey, but sometimes it was hard. That’s why I wrote the article—because I want people to give grace to those who need it. I recently got into another car accident several years later. That was actually last month or earlier this month, and I survived miraculously again. I had to reschedule my licensing exam because of it.
What I’m asking people to do when they look at people who have failed is to give them a chance. Give them a chance to tell their story, like you’re giving me a chance to tell mine.
Kevin Pho: So, tell us about how that failure of the licensing exam happened. Is this step one that we’re talking about?
Ashley McCray: Yeah, so I’m actually a DO student. So, it’s COMLEX Level 1 for me.
Kevin Pho: OK.
Ashley McCray: But it was step one when I failed it. I started out as an allopathic medical student, but now I’m an osteopathic medical student.
Kevin Pho: OK. Tell me about how you bounced back from that setback. What are some of the things that you did?
Ashley McCray: I persevered after I failed the exam multiple times at my last institution. I applied to medical school again on hope and a prayer, and I got in by faith, grace, persistence, love, and an emphasis on grace. This is like a dream that I’m living—to have gotten into medical school twice.
Kevin Pho: Sometimes, as you know, failure is a taboo topic in the medical field. Why do you think it’s so difficult for those of us in the medical field to talk about failure?
Ashley McCray: I think it’s because there’s a standard of perfection for medical professionals. We’re held to that standard on so many levels, from being a student to working in the field. I just think being a perfectionist isn’t what we should strive for. We should strive for giving each other grace and doing our best, not being the best, like I said in the article.
Kevin Pho: When you say giving yourself grace, what does that look like? What did you do to give yourself grace?
Ashley McCray: I told myself that failure wasn’t an option and that I could get back up and try again, instead of thinking that failure was the end and that there was no grace to try again.
Kevin Pho: Tell me about the people around you who gave you support during these difficult times.
Ashley McCray: First things first, it’s people that God put in my path, like professors, friends from back home, and my family. Those are the people who I received by grace.
Kevin Pho: How about the medical school itself? Did you receive support from the medical school during the times when you weren’t able to pass the exam?
Ashley McCray: Well, I didn’t really receive the best support from my first medical school, but I received support from my second medical school.
Kevin Pho: What made the difference?
Ashley McCray: One of the things that’s been hard is learning that I have ADHD. I don’t know if that might come across in the interview, but that’s part of why I was a little late to the interview—time management. So I’m so sorry about that.
Kevin Pho: In terms of the diagnosis of ADHD, was there any support from the school to help you through classes or these exams?
Ashley McCray: There wasn’t any support at my first medical school. But at my current school, the accommodations have helped me pass pretty much all of my exams. I’ve passed all of my shelf exams this year.
Kevin Pho: What kind of accommodations did you receive?
Ashley McCray: The accommodations that they gave me were time accommodations—time and a half in a separate room. That’s what I needed to succeed.
Kevin Pho: How important is it for medical students who may have ADHD like yourself to seek out help and perhaps have some of these accommodations?
Ashley McCray: I think it’s extremely important. It’s made all the difference in my academic performance. Unfortunately, I won’t have accommodations for my licensing exam, and that’s part of why I’ve had so many failures. In fact, I think that’s the reason why I’ve had so many failures. The medical licensing boards make it challenging to get accommodations. It was even challenging to get them at my school, but by grace, I was able to receive them.
Kevin Pho: Is there anything that you’re doing differently to prepare for the upcoming exam?
Ashley McCray: Yes, I bought a prep course this time. I’ve never done a prep course before, and that’s something I do recommend to other people if they can afford it.
Kevin Pho: How about your advice to other medical students who may be in similar situations—for instance, those who may not have passed the first step exams in allopathic medical schools?
Ashley McCray: Honestly, for me, the reason I kept going for so long is because of faith. I had faith in passing one day. God told me I would pass, and I’m still believing that I will pass. When people have asked me this privately, I’ve genuinely said, “Pray about it and see if this is the path for you because God told me it was the path for me.” That’s what I would tell them—seek wise counsel and give yourself grace.
Kevin Pho: How do you think these experiences will change you as a future physician when you talk with patients?
Ashley McCray: Oh, definitely. It helps me empathize with the patients I see as a medical student. It increases the empathy I have because of the journey and story God gave me.
Kevin Pho: When you say grace, whether you received it from others or extended it to yourself, tell me how that has helped you through the highs and lows of your medical school career so far.
Ashley McCray: It gives me space to be imperfect. It gives me space to try again. It gives me space to advocate for myself and for other people. I advocate all the time as a medical student, and that’s how it’s going to impact me as a doctor.
Kevin Pho: We’re talking to Ashley McCray. She’s a medical student. Today’s KevinMD article is “Failure Is Not the End: Creating Space for Grace in the Medical Field.”
Ashley, tell me the message that you want to share with other medical students who may be listening to you today.
Ashley McCray: God is everything to me. Jesus is everything to me. That is why I have survived those accidents—because there have been multiple. That is why I got into medical school twice. That is why I have been living in a miracle, and that is why I’m going to pass my exam. That is my advice to share with everyone.
Kevin Pho: Tell me some take-home messages that you want to leave with my audience.
Ashley McCray: Have faith, extend grace, and you will see success.
Kevin Pho: Ashley, thank you so much for sharing your story. Thanks for coming on the show.
Ashley McCray: Thank you so much, Kevin. Thank you.
